How’s That Working Out for You?

fight-club

I’m not generally a fan of violent movies, but one of my all-time favorite quotes comes from Fight Club–when Brad Pitt asks Edward Norton a simple-but-powerful question:

How’s that working out for you?

In the context of the movie, Pitt’s question implicitly warns of the dangers of ironic detachment and valuing cleverness over wisdom. For me, however, it’s a reminder to practice honest self-reflection.

This question is a great one for us to ask ourselves–especially when our lives are less than ideal–not in a mean or confrontational way, but as an invitation to honest self-assessment and personal growth.

Consider the various factors that make up your reality:

  • your thoughts
  • your actions
  • your attitudes
  • who you spend your time with
  • what you focus on

And then look at the results these factors are creating in your present life. In other words, ask yourself: How’s that working out for me?

If you can honestly answer, “Great”–if your thoughts and actions are bringing you happiness and joie de vivre–then, by all means, keep doing what you’re doing! But if you’re less than thrilled with the results you’ve been getting, maybe it’s time to consider trying something different.

To put it in mathematical terms: if you keep adding 1 + 2 + 3 but you don’t want to get 6, you’re going to have to change either a number or an operator. You can’t keep doing the same things (or “adding the same numbers”) and expect different results.

As the self-help dictum goes: If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.

If what you’ve been doing hasn’t brought you personal fulfillment and happiness, chances are, continuing the same actions (and attitudes) will only bring you more of the same.

Oftentimes, however, even very unhappy people can become set in their ways, reluctant to consider alternative approaches. In Fight Club, for instance, Norton’s character clearly is not doing  “great,” as he initially claims. In fact, he hates his life. He lacks meaningful connections or activities. He’s lonely, empty, and stuck in a morally compromising job he despises. It’s easy to see why he’d want to emotionally shield himself with ironic distance (or delusion) from his own life. But under the facade, even he knows that he must change in order to feel deeply fulfilled and truly alive.

How about you–would you like your life to change in any way?

If so, you can start by looking at the way you’ve been living and asking yourself Brad Pitt’s question: How’s that working out for you?

If your honest answer is not as great as you’d like, don’t worry–in a way, that’s good news! It means you’ve taken the first steps toward changing: honesty, self-awareness, and a willingness to change.

How you decide to change is up to you. Maybe you’ll want to make a full-life overhaul, or maybe you’ll simply tweak a few details here and there. But regardless of what you do differently, at least you’ll know that you’re taking some action and moving toward something different–a better chance at finding more happiness!

How have your past actions and attitudes been working out for you? Are there any parts of your life you’d like to change? What step(s) will you take to begin that process?

Spiking the Punch

I don’t know how common it is in real life, but it seems to happen a lot in teen movies: a young trouble-maker puts alcohol in a fruit punch (frequently at a high school dance or some otherwise wholesome, youth-oriented event).

While this would be a horrible thing to do in real life (for so many reasons–foremost among them, giving someone alcohol without their knowledge or consent), it makes a great metaphor: adding spirit(s) into an otherwise ordinary substance or activity.

So, how can we bring a (non-alcoholic) “spike” to our own lives?

Around this time of year, lots of us are making resolutions–planning on turning over a new leaf, exercising more, eating better, buckling down and getting disciplined. But why do so many of these good intentions fall by the wayside before President’s Day arrives?

There are plenty of reasons–lack of discipline, willpower, or commitment–but I’ll bet that for a lot of us it comes down to something even more basic: a lack of fun!

But what if you could keep your New Year’s resolutions by having fun? What if you could find ways to inject some spirit and short-term enjoyment into the things that bring you long-term health and fulfillment?

Here are some ways:

  • Don’t just eat healthier–eat yummier! No one’s going to stick to a menu of nutritionally enhanced cardboard. But if you find the best tasting foods that fit in with your diet, you’re much more likely to stick to it–and enjoy every bite!
  • Replace grueling exercise with fun movement! I’ve never been a masochist when it comes to exercise (or anything else). I’ve never set foot in a gym, and the very notion of a workout makes me want to run for the hills (unless the hills are too steep). But I’m happy to walk my dog for 40 minutes a day or play Wii dancing games with my wife. Why? Because it doesn’t feel like exercise–it’s just a type of fun that happens to involve moving.
  • Replace discipline with “blissipline”! A few years ago, I heard a life coach use the word “blissipline,” and I fell in love with the concept, which you can apply to almost any area of your life. Instead of forcing yourself to plow through unpleasant tasks (for the sake of some future payoff), see if you can find the bliss in whatever you’re doing right now–getting lost in the joyful flow of the activity itself. (And if you can’t, maybe it’s time to consider doing something else!)

And this “spiking the punch” principle isn’t just for New Year’s resolutions–you can apply it to almost any area of your life. Are there times that feel dull or ordinary that you might be able to “spike”–to sneak in some spirit?

  • Could you sing along to your favorite music while you’re washing the dishes?
  • Could you play road games during a long drive (even if there are no kids in the car)?
  • Could you spice up your business meetings or everyday work by adding contests or other ways to get people enthusiastically involved?
  • Or could you simply make your errands more enjoyable by making a point to compliment at least one person you see at each stop?

Although it’s a tautology, it’s worth remembering that we don’t like to do what we don’t like to do. And we tend not to do what we don’t like to do.

But rather than give up when the going gets dull, maybe this year we can find ways to add more fun, more life, and more spirit into our resolutions and into our everyday lives–even the parts that are good for us!

And maybe we’ll find that it’s not either/or: we can live a healthy life, move toward our long-term goals, AND enjoy every moment of it!

Do you have any resolutions for this year? What are some ways you could make them more fun? How else can you add more spirit to your everyday life?