Someone Else’s Dream

Are you living your dream?

The other day I heard one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard in my life.

No, no one had died. No one was sick or injured. No one’s heart had been broken. But it was still heartbreaking.

I heard it while dropping off a package at the local Fed Ex store. When the driver came in for a pick-up, the sales clerk greeted him with the world’s most mundane rhetorical greeting–“How’s it goin’?”–and the driver responded:

Livin’ the dream…someone else’s.

These five words set my mind reeling (and my heart sinking), so much so that I barely heard the ironic/deadpan banter that followed–but the driver’s casual tone clearly suggested that he’d used this line countless times, which made it all the sadder.

I was so shaken by this casual exchange that I found myself on the brink of breaking my cardinal rule against offering unsolicited advice/coaching. Part of me wanted to shake him (or at least ask him some pointed questions)–to empower him to see that he didn’t have to settle for a half-lived life or an unrealized dream. He didn’t have to be a bit player in someone else’s life. He could be the star of his own glorious dream-life story.

And another part of me thought that I should mind my own business.

For better or worse, I was spared from making the decision, as the driver was called to the back room to help locate a missing package–and I soon completed my transaction and left the store.

Still, even after I left, my mind was filled with all the would-be questions that had popped into my head–all the things that part of me wanted to ask the driver who was living “someone else’s dream”:

  • Well, then what IS your dream? YOUR dream–not someone else’s.
  • What would it look like if you WERE living it? Can you envision a life where you COULD tell people that you’re “living the dream”…without any irony or sarcasm?
  • What steps can you take to start living this dream-life? Even if you can’t realistically transition overnight into your full-blown dream, could you take steps to move in that direction? Could you plant a seed? Dedicate five minutes a day to your dream? Gradually increase it to 10, 20, 30, and so on…until it becomes the center of your life?
  • Are there any aspects of your dream that you’re already living? Can you be grateful for some part of your life (even if it’s just a small part, such as a weekend hobby) that you’re already living? If so, could you focus more on that? Could you tap into (and spread) your enthusiasm for this part of your life–and then encourage it to grow?

Maybe I should’ve taken the initiative to ask these questions directly to the driver, or maybe it worked out better that I saved them for YOU–someone who’s actively seeking out advice or inspiration. (I often have to remind myself of one of the best bits of advice I’ve ever gotten: “Go where you’re wanted–not where you’re needed.”)

A Cautionary Tale

In any case, the scene served as a good reminder–or cautionary mini-tale–for all of us (myself included) who aren’t living our dreams 100%: We don’t have to settle or give in to resignation. We don’t have to passively accept that our current (or past) situations will continue on indefinitely. We can actively shape our futures–our lives–to make them more and more closely resemble the lives of our dreams.

It’s a reminder that, as the saying goes: If you don’t have a plan for your life, someone else will. If you don’t uncover, pursue, and live your own dream, no one else is going to do it for you. It’s your dream and your life to live…or not.

No, no one literally died in the scene I described. But in a way, someone was dying: the driver who seemed so resigned to his undreamlike situation that the only resistance he could muster was a mirthless joke. He was dying. His dream was dying. His joy, his zest for life, his joie de vivre, his passion…everything that separates true living from mere survival was being buried under a mask of ironic detachment and resignation.

And that is a tragedy.

Living Your Dream

The optimistic side of me likes to hope that this driver will someday get in touch with his dream, pursue it with all his heart, and make it his reality. But honestly, I’m not so sure. What I do know, however, is that you and I can do this. In fact, I have supreme confidence that we will–and that we are already in the midst of this process. (As I mentioned above, just the fact that you’re reading a personal-development blog shows that you’re looking for inspiration–the all-important first step of “seek and ye shall find”!)

And maybe we can use this cautionary tale to stoke the fire under us–to remind us of what can happen if we give up on our dream…or never get in touch with it in the first place.

If you’re not yet living your dream (at all, or just not as fully as you’d like to), don’t despair. As long as you have breath, it’s not too late. But I urge you not to keep your dream waiting any longer. Ask yourself the questions I wanted to ask the driver–especially: What IS your dream? and How can you start living it? (Or, if you’re already living it to some extent, How can you make it an even bigger part of your life?)

Remember, your dreams are worth it. They’re your heart, your soul, your truest life. They’re you.

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Thanks so much for being here and pursuing your own dream. I’m so grateful to be part of your journey!

(Photo by Frenk and Danielle Kaufmann.)