Do you still wear your baby shoes?
Probably not, right?
What about the clothes you wore when you were a little kid? Still squeezing into your first pair of jeans? How about that outfit you thought looked so cool when you were 10 years old? Or the one that you didn’t think was cool but had to wear anyway…because it was a gift from a well-meaning relative?
I’m guessing that these shoes and clothes have long since been retired from your wardrobe. Not that there was necessarily anything wrong with them. (Although, in retrospect, some of them may have merited an intervention from the fashion police.) But at the time, they probably seemed reasonable enough. Or at least they fit!
But they don’t fit anymore. So you stopped wearing them. You handed them down to younger siblings, gave them to Goodwill, or simply threw them away.
It seems obvious enough with physical clothes, but it can get trickier when it comes to our inner “clothing.” Are you still “squeezing into” anything from childhood that no longer fits you? Could you use an inner make-over in any of the following areas:
- beliefs
- habits
- identity
- roles
- values
- worldview
In what ways are you holding onto parts of your past that no longer fit?
As a youngster, perhaps you played the role of the obedient (or even subservient) child. Or maybe you picked up a belief such as “You can’t trust anyone.” You might have believed people who told you that you weren’t very bright (or beautiful or talented, etc.).
In some cases, the people who passed down these beliefs may have been acting maliciously (such as someone telling a child that they’re not beautiful). Most of the time, however, these inner hand-me-downs were probably well intentioned. And in most cases, they probably served a valuable function: They may have helped to preserve the peace in a turbulent home environment. They stopped you from taking candy from strangers (except perhaps on Halloween!). And in one way or another, they kept you safe.
But you probably reached a point where these beliefs, roles, and habits no longer served you–yet you didn’t replace them.
Let’s think again about your first pair of baby shoes. They were probably given to you by your parents. And they probably fit very well (at first). They probably kept your feet safe and protected–especially if you wore them when you first learned to walk. And they were probably adorable!
But if you kept wearing those shoes as your feet grew, eventually they wouldn’t have been good for you. They would have been painful. They would have given you blisters. Eventually, they would have hindered your development or even crippled you.
Just like these shoes, many (if not all) of your beliefs were passed down to you by parents or other (usually) well-intentioned adults. Just like these shoes, they kept you safe and served a valuable purpose. Also like these shoes, you’ve probably outgrown them. The trick is to know when to let them go–and update your inner wardrobe!
This doesn’t mean that everything you learned as a child needs to be discarded! Chances are, you probably learned many valuable lessons that will serve you well throughout your entire life. However, you probably also learned some that, like old clothes, fit at the time but no longer fit. (And you probably picked up plenty of inner “clothes” that never fit to begin with!)
It’s your job as a conscious adult to tell the difference–to distinguish what’s a valuable family heirloom that you want to hold onto, what was once valuable but no longer fits, and what was always junk! And then make sure you take the all-important next step: to replace anything you’ve outgrown with something that fits the person you are today!
So, when you find yourself falling into habitual roles, viewing yourself and the world in unhealthy ways, or expressing beliefs that no longer serve you, it’s probably time to trade in these inner “baby shoes” for some big-kid kicks!
Yes, you might feel a tinge of sadness at letting go of your familiar inner clothing. You might even feel a bit of fear at giving up your inner security and embarking on a journey of redefinition–or even rebirth. You might even be angry at yourself for staying stuck in a limiting belief for so long.
But remember that those beliefs, roles, and other habits probably once served you very well. It’s just that you’re ready to move on to something a bit more, shall we say, evolved? Just the fact that you’re willing to explore this process is a healthy sign.
It means you’re ready for an inner-growth spurt!
…
What inner “baby shoes” have you been wearing (or trying to wear)? In other words, have you maintained any long-standing beliefs, roles, habits, or thought patterns that no longer serve you? How have they impeded your personal growth? What new “clothes” would be a better fit for the person you are now…and the person you’re becoming?
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