I’ll Have What She’s Having

If you’ve ever seen the movie When Harry Met Sally, you undoubtedly remember the famous scene of Meg Ryan, um, “faking it” in the deli. (Even if you haven’t seen the movie, chances are you’ve seen this clip in one of the countless montages it’s featured in.) And, in either case, you also probably remember the “topper” line that closes the scene (delivered by the director’s mother, Estelle Reiner): “I’ll have what she’s having.”

Aside from its raunchy comedic value, this line offers great advice about relationships, business, and just about every other area of life: Rather than trying to push yourself (or your product, service, or anything else you might be trying to sell or advocate) on others, simply radiate an authentic, natural joy and love of life. Anyone in your vicinity will be drawn to you and your energy. They’ll want “what you’re having”!

This doesn’t mean that you should “fake it” (like Meg Ryan’s character or in any other way) or that you need to experience/exude orgasmic pleasure every moment of every day. It also doesn’t mean that you need to pretend that you have it all figured out, be at the pinnacle of your field, or be the ultimate “catch” in terms of a romantic relationship, business partnership, or any other area of life.

It simply means that if you are authentically filled with love, joy, personal fulfillment, and “YOU-ness,” this will naturally flow out into the world…and attract the kind of relationships (of all kinds) that you’d like to attract!

Remember, you are your always your own biggest testimonial — which can be positive, negative, or mixed depending on your energy and, most importantly, your LIFE! Your life is “Exhibit A” of how desirable (or not) whatever you’re promoting is.

If you are consistently negative, desperate, or miserable, most people are not going to want “what you’re having”! On the other hand, if you’re the embodiment of the qualities that people are seeking, they’re going to be drawn to you.

To give a somewhat superficial (but widely applicable) example: Many years ago, a woman tried to sell me a special brush designed to make your hair thicker. (At the time, I had thick, wavy hair that reached halfway down my back, so I’m not sure why she thought I might need this product, but that’s beside the point.) In any case, she was very pleasant and spent a good deal of time with me, explaining how this miracle brush worked (something to do with magnetic bristles, if I remember correctly) and the positive results it could produce.

Her explanation and sales pitch sounded great, but there was just one problem: The woman was nearly bald — with only a smattering of wispy tufts barely covering her scalp. As nice as this woman was, whatever she was doing — with the comb or anything else — clearly wasn’t helping much in this area. Needless to say, I did not “want what she was having” in the ‘do department.

Chances are, you’re not in the miracle-comb business, but you can apply this same principle to almost anything you do (or want to do):

  • If you’re a life coach, is your own life an example of what your clients might want?
  • If you’re a fitness trainer, nutritionist, or holistic doctor, are you healthy?
  • If you’re a teacher, do you excel in the area you teach?
  • If you’re looking for a loving, joyful relationship, do you exude love and joy?

In other words, are you living in such a way — personally and professionally — that others would want “what you’re having”?

By embodying what you and your potential clients or partners desire, you do yourself a couple of favors: First of all, you simply feel better. (Even if it didn’t lead to anything else, wouldn’t you just rather be radiant?) Also, this approach means that you don’t have to “sell” in the traditional sense. You don’t have to convince someone to want what you’re having. You simply live your life — enjoying your health, happiness, and success — and let the Law of Attraction connect you with the people who naturally gravitate to your energy.

I’ve found that it’s so much easier to live your life and conduct your business this way. You don’t have to be pushy or salesy or (like Meg Ryan’s “Sally” character) cause a scene. You just have to be you.

What are elements of YOU and your life that might attract others or make them say, “I’ll have what (s)he’s having”?

P.S. This piece is adapted from Manifesting Soulful Love — available now as a pick-your-price ecourse on DailyOM.com. Click here to learn more.

Manifesting Soulful Love

What’s Next?

Have you ever experienced (or witnessed) any of these scenarios?:

You just got married, and people immediately start asking you when you’re going to have kids.
You just experienced a loss or setback, and people immediately start trying to “help” you move forward.
You just finished a major project, and people immediately start asking you what you’re going to do next.
You watch a sports team celebrate winning the championship, and a reporter asks about their plans for next season.

In these situations (or any similar ones), the questions all boil down to the same essence: What’s next?

What’s next on the agenda? What are you going […] Continue Reading…

My (Belated) Words of the Year

For the past few years, I’ve come up with a word of the year — something that encapsulated my desired focus and aspirations for the coming 12 months. I fully expected to do the same this year as well, but when January 1 rolled around, I just wasn’t feeling it.

No single word was calling to me — and the words that did keep springing into my mind (such as anger, bewilderment, disgust, and disillusionment) were hardly ones that I wanted to serve as my theme for the year! But trying to force myself to “fake it till I make it” […] Continue Reading…

And for my next act…

Yesterday, Jodi and I (along with over 250 contributing authors) launched our new book, 365 Life Shifts: Pivotal Moments That Changed Everything. I am so grateful to everyone who contributed to this collection (the third volume of the 365 Book Series), the hundreds of people who promoted it (which helped it become an instant #1 bestseller on Amazon), and the thousands of people who will read it and open their hearts to these true stories of transformation.

As I reflect on this project, I realize that it came about at a perfect time for me, although it didn’t always feel this […] Continue Reading…

The Upside of Anger

I used to think that anger was always bad. Growing up, I got the message that it was an unacceptable emotion. And as a young adult, I thought that it was somehow “unspiritual.” More recently, however, my perspective has changed.

I still don’t think that anger is a fun emotion to feel or a fun “place” to hang out (and I’m extremely wary of those who make it their home), but I’ve come to see that there is an upside of anger.

As I now see it, here are three of anger’s biggest benefits:

1. It allows you to practice self-acceptance and […] Continue Reading…

Hold the Light

For most people, this is one of the most festive times of the year. And, for most of my life, the same has been true for me.

I generally love the holiday season, and last year I had one of the best Christmases of my life, as Jodi and I made our first trip to the beach in our new hometown.

But this year, if I’m being honest, I’m not really feeling the holiday spirit. Between the election, recent world events, and the general tone of public discourse, I’ve often found my recent moods swinging between blah and yuck.

Fortunately, though, I know […] Continue Reading…

Be the Change

During this time of deep personal (and, to a large extent, national and international) grief, I find myself looking for rays of light and glimmers of hope.

As I mentioned in my two previous posts, I often draw inspiration from spiritual quotes and the Abraham-Hicks teachings; so now I’m combining these by taking an Abe approach to one of my favorite quotes:
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”*
– Mahatma Gandhi
I’ve been thinking about these words in relation to the Abraham teaching of contrast — namely, that when something clearly shows you what you don’t want, it helps you […] Continue Reading…

My Top 7 (Non-Abe) Inspirational Quotes

What’s your favorite inspirational quote? Do you have one (or several) that you find yourself thinking about again and again?

Although I’ve been inspired by countless quotes, there are about a dozen that I regularly reflect on — words that I find myself coming back to again and again for guidance, solace, and inspiration. In my previous post, I shared my seven favorites from the Abraham-Hicks teachings. Now, I’d like to share my seven “non-Abe” favorites, along with some thoughts about them.

You may have already seen some of these (perhaps numerous times) making the rounds on Facebook or elsewhere, while others might be new to you; but, in either case, I […] Continue Reading…

My Top 7 Abraham-Hicks Teachings

I love surrounding myself with inspiring words. I’ve spent countless hours reading everything from ancient scriptures to blogs and Facebook posts intended to uplift and enlighten.

While I’m glad to have been exposed to a wide range of teachings, I’ve realized that I could probably live a fairly happy, fulfilling life with just a handful of basic premises, teachings, and quotes.

With this in mind, I recently created a personal “best-of” list of about a dozen such teachings, about half of which came from Abraham-Hicks (who coined the phrase Law of Attraction and teach this concept, which has since been popularized in the movie The Secret […] Continue Reading…

The Mundane Side of Karma

What comes to mind when you hear the word karma?

Do you think of mystical forces such as vibration, energy, or cosmic retribution? Do you think of karma in terms of reincarnation and rebirth? Or maybe (if you share my internal jukebox) you hear an inner medley of John Lennon’s “Instant Karma,” Culture Club’s “Karma Chameleon,” and Ratt’s “Round and Round” (featuring the head-banging chorus of “What comes around goes around”).

Whatever words you use (or songs you hear) when describing karma, it’s generally considered a profound, esoteric principle. And yes, I have no doubt that mysterious forces beyond my comprehension are involved in this […] Continue Reading…