How much would you pay for something you don’t want?

money-planeSome people say: “Worrying is like praying for what you don’t want.”

To put it in more earthly terms, we could say, “Worrying is like PAYING for what you don’t want.”

Think of it like this: Imagine that every word you say, write, or even think is worth $100. And every time you say, write, or think a word, you’re spending that $100.

So, how do you want to spend your “word-money”?

Would you buy what you don’t want — spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars on junk that will clutter your life with worry, stress, or unhappiness?

You’d probably say, “Of course not! What a waste of money! I’d never do that!”

But this is essentially what you’re doing every time you say, write, or mentally dwell on negative words. Every time you put yourself down, put others down, complain about what you don’t like, or think about what you don’t want, it’s like you’re buying more of this!

“But my words are true!” you might say. “I’m not making this stuff up — it actually exists!”

And I don’t doubt it. I know that junk exists. But just because you notice a bright, shiny box marked “Junk” (or “Worry” or “What’s Wrong” or “Unhappiness”) in a shop window doesn’t mean that you have to run into the store and BUY it!

Speaking or writing unhappy words is like BUYING unhappiness!

But there’s good news — VERY good news: the process works the other way, too! If worrying (or complaining or criticizing) is like paying for what you don’t want, then positive words are like buying what you DO want!

  • Every time you talk about, write about, or think about what you love and want to expand in your life, it’s like you’re paying for those things to stick around, grow, and multiply!
  • Every time you compliment yourself or others, you’re buying more of those compliment-worthy qualities!
  • Every time you share happy words (verbally or in writing), it’s like you’re “buying a round” of happiness for everyone who reads or hears those words!

Your positive words are great “investments” that pay compound interest! And the best part is: you’ll never run out of word-money! You have an infinite supply!

And because you’re so “word-rich,” you don’t have to worry if you accidentally blow a few bucks on unworthy words now and then. You don’t have to be perfect (or constantly guard your word-money through self-censorship).

But you also don’t want to blow your fortune on anything that’s not worthy of you — your highest self, the YOU who you want your life to embody.

Here’s the bottom line: You’re constantly spending this word-money anyway, so the real questions are:

  • How do you want to spend this money?
  • What do you want to buy?
  • Are your words good investments in your future (and your present)?

If your words reflect positive expectancy, your highest self, and a world you’d love to live in, then I’d say that this is “money well spent”! Wouldn’t you?

How do you spend your word-money? Are there any “bad investments” that you’d like to stop making? What are some of the best investments you currently make…or would like to start making?

Thank you so much for investing your time, your thoughts, and your heart by being here and sharing these words today! It’s a privilege for me to share them with you! :)

(Photo by Oleksandr Slyvka.)

Balance vs. Immersion

When I was a senior in high school, I spent a month in Spain as part of an exchange program. Aside from having fun, making new friends, and being exposed to an amazing culture, I can honestly say that my Spanish improved more during those 4 weeks than it had during the previous 4 years of taking classes.

I went from barely being able to squeak through a basic vocab quiz to the point where I could carry on a decent conversation in Spanish. Within a few weeks in the country I even began to dream primarily in Spanish!

What was [...] Continue Reading…

Are You Expressing It…or Feeding It?

Feeding Joy (Revisited)

In my previous post (“Feeding Joy”), I wrote about the importance of “feeding” the parts of our lives and ourselves that we want to flourish — presumably, the parts that bring us joy, gratitude, and happiness.

But I also said that it’s natural (and probably even healthy) to express yourself, even when your thoughts and emotions aren’t joyful — rather than repressing, denying, or letting negativity fester within you.

So, is this a contradiction? By expressing negativity and giving it “air-time,” aren’t we just “feeding” it? How can we tell if we’re fanning the flames of negativity or releasing [...] Continue Reading…

Feeding Joy + Sanctuary Registration is Open (at 40% Off)!

I’m thrilled to share that my wife, Jodi, and I have just realized a long-term dream: opening registration for the Soulful Life Sanctuary!

The sanctuary is a beautiful online community that helps you reconnect with your soul while connecting with like-minded friends. It’s also an all-encompassing collection of tools and resources to help you live your most soulful life — including ecourses, live and archived classes, plus Sacred Spaces and Soul Guides in more than a dozen areas, such as Wellness, Creativity, Soulful Parenting, Self-Care, and Spirituality.

I’m excited to share more about the sanctuary (as well as how you can [...] Continue Reading…


Last week a friend of mine finally put her foot down.

After years of being mistreated and taken advantage of, she finally said one of the most empowering and important words in the English language:


After we exchanged several congratulatory emails and virtual high-fives, I had some time to reflect on her situation, and I was reminded of other times when I or other people I know finally said, “Enough!” — whether it was by leaving an abusive relationship, quitting a soul-crushing job, or setting healthy boundaries in any other way.

I was also reminded of Nietzsche’s parable of the three metamorphoses, [...] Continue Reading…

Be the Tree

“Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.”
~ Martin Luther
Maybe it’s because spring is finally hitting its stride here in southern Oregon, or maybe it’s because I was just talking with a gardener, but recently I’ve been thinking in terms of gardening metaphors: seeds, plants, and trees, which offer so many great lessons.

For instance, consider some of the qualities of an apple tree that can also apply to our lives:

It starts as a tiny seed…just like each one of us! And it’s not just our body that starts [...] Continue Reading…

Don’t Wait for a Tragedy

How many times have you heard this story?

Someone is living a more-or-less “normal” life…

Maybe things are going fairly well, or maybe they’re not going so great. But basically, they’re just going. Things are just kind of chugging along. Time is passing. And while their life isn’t necessarily terrible (although it might be), they’re certainly not living up to their potential. They’re not fulfilling their life purpose. They’re not living each moment with passion, joie de vivre, and personal/spiritual fulfillment.

But then…

The “unthinkable” happens. Everything changes in a heartbeat. Tragedy strikes.

It could take many different forms:

They get into a car accident.
They’re [...] Continue Reading…

What Will You Water?

Imagine that you’re walking through an enormous garden. It overflows with roses, tulips, lilies, and dozens of other flowers. There’s also a huge section dedicated to vegetables: lettuce, tomatoes, squash, and almost every other veggie you can imagine — an entire salad bar in the making!

And you stroll through this amazing, abundant, richly varied garden, holding a watering can, trying to decide which of these plants you’d like to water.

Unfortunately, you can’t water them all. After all, you’ve only got a limited amount of water in your can, so you’d like to choose something you really want to nurture. [...] Continue Reading…

Change Your Story, Change Your Life

For the last 25 years, I’ve been leading a double life.

By day, I’m a mild-mannered personal-growth blogger, Law of Attraction practitioner, and Life-Optimization coach. But I also have an alter-ego as a novelist and screenwriter with a particular fondness for absurd humor.

For years, I never thought that these two sides would meet. They seemed like completely unrelated parts of me, dwelling in unconnected worlds: personal growth in the “real world” and stories in the world of fiction.

Recently, however, I’ve started to realize that  telling stories isn’t just reserved for fiction writers. In fact, we all tell stories — every [...] Continue Reading…

Having a Human Experience

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience;
we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
~ Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

A lot of people see this famous quote as a reminder of our inherent spirituality. And yes, I agree — we are innately spiritual. It’s who we are.

(Or, at least, half of who we are.)

But I also think that the last part of the sentence is just as important (if not more so): we’re having a human experience.

That means that we laugh, we cry, we sing, we dance, we make mistakes, we fall in love, we fall out of love, [...] Continue Reading…