Moving to a new place (literally or figuratively) can be very exciting: you feel a sense of adventure, new possibilities, and a fresh start.

But once the initial excitement fades (or perhaps even sooner), you might begin to feel disconcerted or uncomfortable.

After all, this new territory is totally unfamiliar. You don’t know your way around. You get lost just trying to find the grocery store. You don’t know where the nearest gas station is. You don’t even have a library card.

The people here have strange customs and strong accents — and they use unfamiliar jargon, regional slang, or even a different language altogether. Half the time, you’re not even sure what they’re saying or doing.

Even your new home can feel strange and uncomfortable.  At night, you fumble around trying to find the light switch. You feel like a guest in someone else’s house. And although it might be a very nice house, it doesn’t feel like HOME.

You might find yourself wondering: Was this move even worth it? Should I just pack up and go back to where I came from?

After all, even if you moved out of a bad neighborhood, a bad situation, or a place that you had simply outgrown — at least it was familiar. It was comfortable.

It was the known.

This experience doesn’t just apply to physical moves.

You might feel this way when you’re moving into a new relationship (or leaving an old one). You might feel this way when beginning a new job (or leaving an old one). You might feel this way as you begin to pursue new interests, new spiritual practices, or a new lifestyle.

You might feel this way even when nothing in your external life changes — when you sense a shift in how you see the world, where you are in your life, or WHO you are.

When this is the case, what changes isn’t necessarily the world around you but how you experience it. You might find that old sources of comfort no longer appeal to you. And you might feel drawn to new areas — figuratively or perhaps even literally in the sense of an actual move.

And, as you’ve likely experienced in your own life, when you make a move of any kind, not everyone is going to move with you. Other people might not understand your desire to change. They might feel threatened. They might wonder why you didn’t just keep living in the same place and doing the same things you’d always done.

(And you might find yourself wondering the same thing!)

Yes, inner and/or outer changes can be exciting or even exhilarating, but they can also be scary and disconcerting. No matter how appealing the new home (or experience or life) may be or how unappealing the old one may have been, you still might find that part of you wants to scurry back to the safety of the tried-and-true…or even the “tried-and-false”!

If you find yourself in this sort of situation in any area of your life, it can be helpful to remember three things:

1. WHY you moved/changed. You probably didn’t just pick up and make a major change in your life (job, relationship, a literal move, or any other upheaval) without having a very good reason for it. If you’re feeling growing pains or generally second-guessing your decision, it can be good to tap back into that positive sense of excitement and possibility (and/or negative impetus for leaving your old situation) that created the desire for something different in the first place.
2. What feels strange and uncomfortable now will soon become your “new normal.” It might take a few weeks, a few months, or longer, but this new stage of your life will begin to feel natural, comfortable, and homey. It will feel like you.
3. You already have friends in this new place. You don’t have to go it alone while you’re moving and settling into your new home! Even if you don’t know it yet, there’s an entire community of like-minded people who would LOVE to welcome you to this new stage of your life, get to know you (not just who you’ve been but who you’re becoming — the newly emerging you), and support you during your time of transition…and beyond. Many of them have made a similar transition in their own lives, so they’ll be able to relate — and probably even benefit from hearing about your experience.

In the past month, I’ve witnessed so many instances of these sorts of connections, new friendships, and new support systems — in the just-opened Soulful Life Sanctuary and elsewhere — as people in the midst of significant changes welcome and support one another. It’s so beautiful to see people who thought that they had to struggle in solitude actually feeling loved, understood, and supported.

It’s almost like having a Welcome Wagon when you move into a new town — a gift basket of maps, coupons, and goodies brought right to your doorstep. Or like having friendly neighbors introduce themselves, offer to show you around, help you get acclimated, or just invite you over for a chat.

(Or, if you’re lucky, maybe even bring you a homemade pie!)

If you’re feeling called to move to a new stage of life or finding yourself in unfamiliar territory, I’d love for the sanctuary to be your Welcome Wagon. But even more than that, I’d love for you to know that you’re not alone. Friendship and support are always waiting for you. Sometimes they show up on your doorstep (or in your inbox) and sometimes you have to spend some time looking for them, but you’ve always got “neighbors” who would love to show you around this new place, offer friendship, and help you feel at home.

And before too long, you’ll wonder how you ever lived anywhere else.

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P.S. If you’re moving into new territory — in terms of personal growth, spirituality, or any other area of your life — I hope you’ll check out the Soulful Life Sanctuary. In addition to a vast array of resources, you’ll be instantly connected with over 100 like-minded souls who are just waiting to support you, nourish you, and welcome you home! I’d love to see you there! Click here for details. 🙂

Some people say: “Worrying is like praying for what you don’t want.”

To put it in more earthly terms, we could say, “Worrying is like PAYING for what you don’t want.”

Think of it like this: Imagine that every word you say, write, or even think is worth $100. And every time you say, write, or think a word, you’re spending that $100.

So, how do you want to spend your “word-money”?

Would you buy what you don’t want — spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars on junk that will clutter your life with worry, stress, or unhappiness?

You’d probably say, “Of course not! What a waste of money! I’d never do that!”

But this is essentially what you’re doing every time you say, write, or mentally dwell on negative words. Every time you put yourself down, put others down, complain about what you don’t like, or think about what you don’t want, it’s like you’re buying more of this!

“But my words are true!” you might say. “I’m not making this stuff up — it actually exists!”

And I don’t doubt it. I know that junk exists. But just because you notice a bright, shiny box marked “Junk” (or “Worry” or “What’s Wrong” or “Unhappiness”) in a shop window doesn’t mean that you have to run into the store and BUY it!

Speaking or writing unhappy words is like BUYING unhappiness!

But there’s good news — VERY good news: the process works the other way, too! If worrying (or complaining or criticizing) is like paying for what you don’t want, then positive words are like buying what you DO want!

• Every time you talk about, write about, or think about what you love and want to expand in your life, it’s like you’re paying for those things to stick around, grow, and multiply!
• Every time you compliment yourself or others, you’re buying more of those compliment-worthy qualities!
• Every time you share happy words (verbally or in writing), it’s like you’re “buying a round” of happiness for everyone who reads or hears those words!

Your positive words are great “investments” that pay compound interest! And the best part is: you’ll never run out of word-money! You have an infinite supply!

And because you’re so “word-rich,” you don’t have to worry if you accidentally blow a few bucks on unworthy words now and then. You don’t have to be perfect (or constantly guard your word-money through self-censorship).

But you also don’t want to blow your fortune on anything that’s not worthy of you — your highest self, the YOU who you want your life to embody.

Here’s the bottom line: You’re constantly spending this word-money anyway, so the real questions are:

• How do you want to spend this money?
• What do you want to buy?
• Are your words good investments in your future (and your present)?

If your words reflect positive expectancy, your highest self, and a world you’d love to live in, then I’d say that this is “money well spent”! Wouldn’t you?

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How do you spend your word-money? Are there any “bad investments” that you’d like to stop making? What are some of the best investments you currently make…or would like to start making?

Thank you so much for investing your time, your thoughts, and your heart by being here and sharing these words today! It’s a privilege for me to share them with you! 🙂

(Photo by Oleksandr Slyvka.)

When I was a senior in high school, I spent a month in Spain as part of an exchange program. Aside from having fun, making new friends, and being exposed to an amazing culture, I can honestly say that my Spanish improved more during those 4 weeks than it had during the previous 4 years of taking classes.

I went from barely being able to squeak through a basic vocab quiz to the point where I could carry on a decent conversation in Spanish. Within a few weeks in the country I even began to dream primarily in Spanish!

What was the reason for my rapid improvement?

Was it because I got a better teacher? No, I was traveling with the same teacher I’d had all year back in the States.

Was it because I finally buckled down and got serious about my studies? Hardly! I was, after all, 17 years old — and far more interested in going to night clubs with my motorcycle-riding friends than spending my nights poring over Spanish-grammar textbooks.

Was it because I utilized some cutting-edge brainwave technology? No, this was 1989 — years before I got internet…and started seeing those near-ubiquitous pop-up ads about super fast language-learning programs (which, according to the ads, teachers invariably HATE!).

So how come it took me only a few weeks to transform from so-so student to almost-fluent conversationalist? What was my “secret”? As you’ve probably guessed, it’s no secret at all — something super basic that I can summarize in a single word:

Immersion.

During that month, I went from dabbling in the language to surrounding myself with it. Everything I read was in Spanish — from school books to menus and traffic signs. Everything I heard was in Spanish — from my host family, on the TV and radio, and in every class (not just period-3 Intermediate Spanish for 39 minutes).

(Well, not quite everything was in Spanish, since I was still traveling with my fellow American students who, much to our teacher’s chagrin, still spoke primarily in English to one another. Granted, we probably would have improved even faster if we’d spent 100% of the time with native Spanish speakers — but, after all, we were 17, and time with friends was given higher priority than Spanish fluency.)

But what about the rest of life?

OK, so the immersion approach seemed to work for learning Spanish, but what about the rest of life?

Yes, I’ve been able to learn other things very quickly when I’ve immersed myself in them. (For instance, I once learned one side of a two-person t’ai chi form [san shou] at a weekend retreat; learning the other side of the same form took me almost 6 months of weekly classes!)

But immersion isn’t just about becoming hyper-efficient or developing new skills at record-breaking speed. I’ve always been more of a “slow-and-steady” kind of guy, so this wouldn’t appeal to me anyway.

The area where immersion does appeal to me, however, is LIFESTYLE.

I want (and make a conscious effort) to immerse myself as much as possible in a life that nourishes me — to live in an environment that supports me, surround myself with people who value and respect me, and immerse myself in activities that feed my soul.

It’s almost like dipping myself in a yummy “sauce” — I want to “marinate” in goodness!

But what about BALANCE?

Perhaps the idea (and practice) of immersion appeals to you, but maybe it seems at odds with one of the most highly touted ideals of personal growth and spirituality: balance.

After all, isn’t that what we’re all supposed to be striving for — balance of work/life, yin/yang, mind/body/spirit? (It’s certainly one of the guiding principles of t’ai chi — including the form I learned at that weekend workshop!)

Well, yes and no. On the one hand, balance can be essential to your health — getting enough…but not too much: food, sleep, physical activity, etc. In many areas, moderation is the key to health and happiness — but, as the saying goes, “Everything in moderation…including moderation!”

In the area of emotions, for instance, I don’t believe that if you’re feeling exceptionally happy that you should intentionally focus on something negative…just to balance out your emotions. I don’t believe that you need to intentionally invite mean people into your life…just to balance out all the nice ones. And I don’t believe that if you’ve been immersed in your favorite soul-nourishing activities that you should do something you hate…just to restore some balance to your life!

Immersing in Joy

Just like learning Spanish or t’ai chi, one of the best ways to soak up positive emotions is to immerse yourself as much as possible in a positive environment!

This is one of the reasons why I’m super excited to be part of the Soulful Life Sanctuary (which just opened — more on that in a minute) — because I get to IMMERSE myself in joy!

As the Soul Guide of the Gratitude & Joy group, I get to spend as much time as I want basking in the writing, videos, activities, people, conversations, ideas, and practices that bring me joy. And I get to share that joy with others — to feed off of one another’s joy and gratitude, nurturing that positivity in all of us.

My job, quite literally, is to be joyful — and to share that joy! (How amazing is that?)

But even if it’s not literally YOUR job, you can still consciously immerse yourself as much as possible in the areas that you want to soak up — the activities that feed you, the skills that you want to learn and master, the places that inspire you, and the people who love you.

Yes, balance is an important part of life — but life generally creates it for you. (For instance, even if you’re immersed in work that you love, eventually you’re going to get hungry — which means you’ll have to eat, which means you’ll have to cook, clean, shop, interact with others, and do other non-work activities, which naturally creates a work/life balance!)

But as you’re creating (or striving to create) a balanced life, don’t be afraid to let some areas get out of balance — especially if they’re the areas that are so wonderful that you simply can’t get enough of them: such as joy, happiness, gratitude, fun, and love!

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What parts of life would you like to immerse yourself in more fully? Is there an activity that you’d like to dive into — or an emotion that you’d like to fill yourself with? How can you immerse yourself more in what brings you joy?

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P.S. As I mentioned above, the doors have just opened to the Soulful Life Sanctuary — a brand new community created by my wife, Jodi Chapman, to provide a loving space to go to relax, recharge, rejuvenate, and plug back into our connection with ourselves, others, and this beautiful universe that we are a part of. It’s a supportive community, a virtual classroom/retreat center, and a set of tools/resources to help you live your most radiant, authentic, soulful life!

I would love for you to check it out and join us there! Click here to learn more about it — including the earlybird discount and bonus gifts available this month only!

(swimmer photo by Irena Belousa)